Every time I register for a race as the time creeps closer I start to question my ability to finish said race. I am in that stage now. Since I am so slow I start to worry that I will be the last one. You know the one followed by the police car? I have been that person a few times and I hate it. In my heart I know that I shouldn't give a darn, I am out there running and I am not a spring chicken anymore, there are usually only a handful in my age group! But my darn head! Thoughts of " you know you are going to be last," " No matter how hard you run, you are still slow" I have tried all I know to try and think positive thoughts and they just don't come. So why do I keep doing this? Good question. Wish I had the answer. Up until 2008 I had never run further than a 10K. Then some enabling friends of mine ( you know who you are), started egging me to try a half. So I did. After the race I thought never again...yeah right! 2 weeks later I was signing up to run the Detroit Free Press Half ( a great race by the way), then the following year my one and only marathon. So here I am 6 years later still registering for these darn Halfs! No ones cares, except myself, how slow I am or that I bringing up the rear, but you know you hear those thoughts in your head " why is she even running, she might as well walk" I don't think people think this, but in my head they are thinking just that. I need these races though to keep myself motivated to keep on running. If I sign up you can be sure I will run that race, unless I am sick of course, and no matter how slow or how terrible I feel that day I will finish!
Okay, I am thinking way too negative here and I do not need that 2 days before my race. I use the word, race, loosely, since in my case it usually is not. There I go again, being negative. I need professional help! LOL! I have met wonderful friends during this journey. Friends, that I believe, I will have for a long time, because they are nuttier that I am!
So wish me luck Sunday as I run , I think, my 21st Half Marathon! That is an accomplishment, right?????