The pre-race jitters!

Every time I register for a race as the time creeps closer I start to question my ability to finish said race.  I am in that stage now.  Since I am so slow I start to worry that I will be the last one.  You know the one followed by the police car?  I have been that person a few times and I hate it.  In my heart I  know that I shouldn't give a darn, I am out there running and I am not a spring chicken anymore, there are usually only a handful in my age group!  But my darn head!  Thoughts of " you know you are going to be last," " No matter how hard you run, you are still slow"  I have tried all I know to try and think positive thoughts and they just don't come.  So why do I keep doing this?   Good question.  Wish I had the answer.  Up until 2008 I had never run further than a 10K.  Then some enabling friends of mine ( you know who you are), started egging me to try a half.  So I did.  After the race I thought never again...yeah right!  2 weeks later I was signing up to run the Detroit Free Press Half ( a great race by the way), then the following year my one and only marathon.  So here I am 6 years later still registering for these darn Halfs!  No ones cares, except myself, how slow I am or that I bringing up the rear, but you know you hear those thoughts in your head  " why is she even running, she might as well walk"  I don't think people think this, but in my head they are thinking just that.  I need these races though to keep myself motivated to keep on running.  If I sign up you can be sure I will run that race, unless I am sick of course, and no matter how slow or how terrible I feel that day I will finish!

Okay, I am thinking way too negative here and I do not need that 2 days before my race.  I use the word, race, loosely, since in my case it usually is not.  There I go again, being negative.  I need professional help!  LOL!  I have met wonderful friends during this journey.  Friends, that I believe, I will have for a long time, because they are nuttier that I am!

So wish me luck Sunday as I run , I think, my 21st Half Marathon!  That is an accomplishment, right?????

Ginny