Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Sheesh, I haven't run in a couple of days again.  Unlike , a couple of weeks ago however, I really feel like running, so that is good!  Bad is that we are supposed to get ice/snow starting tomorrow again, so will have to do the treadmill  I suspect.  I still am not as motivated as I would like and it worries me..I still have so much I would like to do with my running, but I am feeling inadequate.  I know I sound like a broken record, but the slowness really bothers me.  Just the thought of going out for a 10 mile run and having it take over 2 hours,just pushes down the spirit.  So.....am I just being pessimistic and I can really amp up my time or is age just taking it's toll on me?  I do not want to hurt myself so then I would not be able to run at all, and , I know myself, I don't want to burn out and resent the running.  Just not in the best place right now I guess...hoping, against hope, that it is just the winter that is getting me down.  I have to say, getting up at 4:30 a.m. and facing the dark and the cold is not appealing one bit.  Last week I was doing really well, this week not so much.  Wish I had a running partner who would make me feel accountable.  If I know someone is counting on me I won't let them down.  Same thing with signing up for a race, if I know I have a race to run, I won't let myself down.  I did do that once though, I signed up for the Flying Pig  half marathon in Cincinnati two years ago and I did not train enough to participate.  Again, the race was in May and I had a bad winter!  Make myself mad!  The only solution I see is moving south... LOL.  I think "LOL" is passe now, but I still use it.  I also like to use the excuse of time.  Working full time really does make it difficult.  Seems that I am wanting more and more down time to myself the past few months.  I get home from work and I just want to sit and read or knit, not exercise.  I have found that I do much better with the weight training if I do it in the evening, but again the motivation factor.  I have to go home and immediately change and exercise or I won't do it! Plus, I find myself thinking about how I have to go home after work and exercise and it depresses me, i just want to go home. Period.  Man, I really have to get out of this funk!

I have had a bad toothache since Friday.  It is subsiding a little, but right now it is killing me again.  Went to the dentist yesterday and am on antibiotics, so hopefully this will go soon.  Need lots of dental work, but I knew that I did.  Being an ex-hygienist I am not fearful of the dentist, so I am looking forward to finally getting the work done!

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